How Stoicism Helped Me Through One of the Hardest Periods of My Life

Years ago, I found myself juggling a full-time job, part-time studies, and adapting to a new life with my wife after moving in together. To make things harder, this was during COVID isolation.

The conflicting responsibilities left me feeling completely overwhelmed and drained. I was questioning my purpose, wondering:

• Why am I doing all this?
• What’s the point of it all?

I felt like a shell of myself, and even my wife started noticing that something was wrong.

The Turning Point: Picking Up Meditations

Amid all this chaos, I remembered a book I had bought on a whim: Meditations by Marcus Aurelius.

I wasn’t sure what had prompted me to buy it, and I hadn’t really read it yet. But one day, feeling desperate, I took it off the shelf and started flipping through its pages.

At first, the passages didn’t fully click. But as I kept reading, something shifted.

The Stoic Philosophy That Changed Everything

One core idea of Stoicism hit me deeply:
Do what’s in your control and ignore the rest.

It wasn’t just that—it also explained what is in your control:

• Your actions.
• Your character.
• Your ability to be kind and compassionate.

Everything else? It’s outside your control and not worth the mental energy.

I realized that the stress eating away at me was only able to do so because I allowed myself to be dragged down by things I couldn’t control.

Accepting How I Felt

At first, I thought Stoicism was about forcing myself to "stop being bothered by things." But I soon realized it was something else entirely.

Instead of fighting my negative emotions, I learned to accept them. I couldn’t just decide to feel happy—it wasn’t in my control.

But I could choose how to respond.

The passages in Meditations taught me this:

• Even when you’re struggling, you can still be kind.
• You can still be productive within your limits.
• You can still live by your values.

I summarized it for myself as:

“Despite these negative feelings, I can still be good, do good.”

Finding Purpose

Focusing on what was in my control gave me a new sense of purpose. I stopped obsessing over things I couldn’t change and directed my energy toward living virtuously.

Within no time, I felt like myself again. That simple Stoic mindset—"focus on what’s in your control, let go of the rest"—had changed my life.

Growth Through Struggle

Since then, I’ve come to see moments of hardship in a different light.

Sometimes, I even look forward to challenges. Struggles force you to reshape your mindset, refine your character, and adapt in ways that make you stronger.

Every challenge calls for a mindset shift, and every shift strengthens who you are.

A Final Thought

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or lost, here’s what I learned:

You can’t control how you feel. You can’t control everything life throws at you.

But you can control how you respond.

Focus on what’s in your control. Live by your values. And no matter what, aim to be good and do good.

That simple idea helped me through one of the hardest times of my life—and it might help you too.